Shayari Jokes Thoughts SMS
 
 
Jokes
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Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

 

Sita: "What do you use to clean utensils?"
Geeta: "I have tried several things but I have found my husband is the best thing".

A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What does u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' (sea) level"

 

”Darling," whispered a frail little husband from his chair. “I’m very sick, would you
please call me a vet?". “A vet? Why do you want a vet and not a medical doctor?" The
husband replied. Because I work like a horse, live like a dog, and have to sleep with a
silly cow."

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

He takes his seat in the Examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails.

Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperatley throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The invigilator,alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I finished the exam in half an hour". "But yaar", he says, " I am rechecking my answers."

 

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing " Our Sardar slapped him on his face and said, "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai."

     
SOME FUNNY CONVERSIONS.......
RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )
  It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman
sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.
     

A little girl went to the school for the first time. Her Teacher told her that if
she wanted to go to the Toilet she should raise her index finger. The girl looked
puzzled and asked, "How that's going to stop it?"

 

Uncle : "When were you born?"
Child : "20th August, by the way when were you born uncle?"
Uncle : "It was fourty years ago, on a Sunday" 
Child : "Don't try to befool me, Sunday is a holiday".

Sardar: Will u marry after I die

Wife : No I wiil live with my sister.

Wife : Will u marry , after I die .

Sardar: No I will also live with ur sister.

 

Girl-to-Boy – Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
Boy-to-Girl – Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.

     
Major Rohail: Plz turn ON your computer

Sardar: OK kar liya.

Major Rohail: Now Plz click on MY Computer.

Sardar: OK! Kaha hai "AAP" ka computer?
  Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala

Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi

Kyun...

Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The
     
Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:

Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?

Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai.
  Sardar gun leke darwaze pe ruka,
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher ka shikaar karne ja raha hu!
Wife: toh jao na.
Srdr: Kaise jau bahar kutta khada hai

7. SOME FUNNY CONVERSIONS.......
RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
Ans - . TAILOR ( darzi )

Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
Ans - . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)

Q3. Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why?? why ?? :-)
Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener

Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??
Socho...............
Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
Ans:- adidas

Q8. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls
into the well. Why ?
Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!

Now Kush also jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching done.
Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!

Want one more...

Q9. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..??
Ans:- D'Cold chain ki saans !!!!!!

 

Shaadi ke pehle - Agar Tum Na Hote:(
Shaadi ke baad - Agar Tum Na Hote:)

Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran

Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss:)
Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss:(

Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani
Shaadi ke baad - Chutki Ki Amma

Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi
Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about  what had happened in the past.

Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.

Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.

 

A hindu woman gave birth to a 4th child. Doctor Gupta filled on the birth certificate, MOTHER: hindu, FATHER: hindu, CHILD: Chinese.
The woman asked, "Why are you writing Chinese for my child when my husband and I are hindu?"
Doctor Gupta shouted, "Fool, read a newspaper! It says that every fourth person born on the earth now is Chinese."

     
     
 

Shayari

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