Shayari Jokes Thoughts SMS
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Doctor Gupta told his hindu patient that if he ran eight kilometres a day for 300 days, he would lose 34 kilos.
At the end of the 300 days, the hindu called Doctor Gupta to report he had lost the weight...but there was a problem.
"Uh ohhh," said Doctor Gupta, "What's the problem?"
"I'm 2400 kilometres from my home


Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
dasva ane wala he...
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hat hai..

Aik Hindu Ne Bhagwan Se Kaha: Mujhy Dukh de, Tention de, Barbad Kar de, Mery Peechy Bhoot Laga de.
Bhagwan Ne Kaha: Saly shortcut mein Bol na “Biwi Chahiey”


Teacher: "What would have happened if electricity had not been
Student: "We would have had to watch television by candle light."

. “THE DOCTOR because he says “Take your clothes off.
“THE DENTIST because he says “Open wide.
“THE HAIR DRESSER because he says “Do you want them teased or blown?
“THE MILKMAN because he says “Do you want it in the back or in the front?
“THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says “Once it’s in you’ll love it.
“THE BANKER because he says “If you take it out too soon, you’ll lose interest.”


Sundays-52 in a year,Days left 313
Summer holidays 50,Days left 263
8 hrs daily sleep-130 days GONe, Days left 141
1 hr daily playing means 15 days,Days left 126
2 hrs daily for eating means 30 days.Days left 96,
1 hr talking means 15 days.,Days left 81
Exams days 35 days,Days left 46
Eid & Gov holidays 20, Days left 26
Movies,TV at least 25 days,Days left 1
That 1 day is your BIRTHDAY.
Hun banda SALGIRHA waly din bhi parhy?

. Girl: Iss shirt ke kiya price hy?
Salesman: Sirf 6 kisses.
Girl: Aur uss shirt kee?
Salesman: 12 kisses.
Girl: Donon dresses pack kr do, bill daddy dain gy.


Son: Dad, I want to tell you something.
Dad: Its not good to speak while eating.
(After Food)
Dad: What ?
Son: There was a cockroach in your plate.

2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is blind. Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.  

What is the different between Dava & Daru (Medicine & Whisky)?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru iz like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

Sardar to Girlfriend= Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend= Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar= 1 biwi aur 3 bacche...


Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair merd ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kush na kaha, bhala kiun, kiun ke saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii

AT 18 a lady is like a football, 22 men behind her,
at 28 a basketball, 10 men behind her,
at 38 a golf ball, 1 man behind her,
at 48 a TT ball, 1 man pushing her to the other


Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you........... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye, Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.”

Ek baar ek terrorist ne Rekha ke ghar mein bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye : Rekha bomb hai, Rekha bomb hai.
Rekha sambhal kar boli : Dhatt teri ki, woh toh mein jawani mein thi !! Ab nahi rahi.

  Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins!

Friends r like fishes.
U have to sit patiently for a long time
to catch a good one.
Just like I caught u.
so better stay nice otherwise
I will FRY YOU..


One day a woman went to her family doctor and told her that she is not feeling well from some days. The doctor examined her properly and went out of the room to bring medicine for her from the store room. Doctor came with 3 big bottles of pills of different colours.

The doctor said, “Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.”
Startled to be put on so much medicine, the woman stammered, “Jeez Doc, exactly what is my problem?”
The doctor replied, “You’re not drinking enough water.”

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.


Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing?
He said-I’m seeing how I look while sleeping






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